Level Up

Greetings Readers and DIYers,

I promised an update on our driveway when it happened, and it happened.  We couldn't be more pleased with the outcome.  Ch-ch-ch-check it out-

The team they sent over from American Waterworks were pretty cool in my book.  It took them about two hours to level out our driveway and sidewalk.  There was even a section of the driveway that we were quoted on, where they didn't need to do any work.  In return, they offered to professionally caulk the cracks in order to prevent additional water from finding it's way in.  They did a couple of walk-throughs to explain their process (before and after), and wouldn't accept payment until we were completely satisfied. So yeah, they drove away with payment in hand.  The cost for our driveway/sidewalk was $1,200.00 if you're looking for a figure to base your decision off of.

Other Advantages of PolyLevel:

* Lightweight - PolyLevel weighs 4-6 pounds per cubic foot when installed.  Mudjacking fill material is 120-140 pounds per cubic foot when installed.  What does this mean for you?  The less weight and pressure, the happier your supporting soil will be.

* Eco-Friendly - This one is HUGE for our home.  The smaller the carbon footprint, the better.  PolyLevel can be reused, Plus, PolyLevel is manufactured using recycled materials.

* Immediate Turn-Around Time - 15 minutes after application your driveway and sidewalk are full functioning.

* One day installation is all it takes.

* Fewer and smaller holes are needed to get the job done.

* Waterproof - PolyLevel is fully waterproof, therefore it can't washout.  Because it doesn't absorb water, it is not impacted by the freeze / thaw cycle.  For Minnesota's unpredictable seasons, this is a huge bonus.

What are you waiting for?  Call your local PolyLevel supplier and get that hazard you call a driveway fixed.

____________________________

Speaking of unpredictable seasons, every year we feel more prepared for Minnesota's worst season yet - winter, and this year will be no exception.  Have you read the Farmer's Almanac, People?

Winter is widely enjoyed by kids, due to activities such as snowman-making, tubing, snowmobiling, and skiing.

However, it is widely despised by anyone above the age of 16, due to activities such as scraping windshields, back-breaking shoveling, deplorable driving conditions, and high heating bills.

Example:

Little Timmy (age 8) runs up to his brother John (age 17)

Timmy: Hey big brother!  It's winter!  Wanna go build a snowman?!?!

John: Go fuck yourself.

Sorry guys, I really hate that I am already talking about winter, let alone thinking about it.  

Which brings me to....

Moving super heavy pots on your deck and lining up drainage holes with the cracks in said deck tips:

I've got this bush, you see.  And I needed to move it.

The problem is I'm an idiot and didn't think about the weight during the planting process.  Meaning, the cement pot is heavy AF.

The other piece of it is there is a small drainage hole on the bottom of this 80 pound (no joke) planter. The easy part is shuffling the planter.  The hard part is lining up the drainage hole with a crack in the deck to allow for the coming mounds of snow to pass through the pot with ease.  And because I seem to be all about inconvenience, I decided to master this task solo.  

What You Need:

Tape
Long Screw (don't we all?)

Shove the screw through.

Tape it in place.

 

Roll your planter over to the screw, line up the drainage hole with the screw and, wah-lah.

Pull the screw out of the crack.  Step back and watch your plant drain with ease.

And because you are probably just so curious, here is a final photo of our paint it black garage entry door/gooseneck light update.

The 'Our Piece of Split House Updates' outdoor list is dwindling:

* Privacy Wood Fence

* Roof

* Garage Door

* Siding

* Minimal Landscape Update

* Fix Driveway

* Garage Entry Door - Paint/Fix

* Lighting Updates (1 of 3 complete)

* Paint Front Door

* Update Kick Plate

And that concludes this story.  Stop on back... OR keep going.

Zero Blog Manners with a Side of Updates

Where are my blog manners?  My guess is they were lost somewhere during our whirlwind of a summer.  So many fun and exciting things happened, and the year isn't even over with.

The last post was a photo of our garage door.  Lucky you?  Happy to say the paint is holding up well during the rainstorms, and the rust isn't showing through our black door.  Another win.

Here is a quick rundown of our summer projects:

June 2016: Dug out all of the lava rock from our landscape.  Took out Yew bushes 1 & 2, another pointless bush that didn't pull it's weight in landscape appeal, and 6 enormous hostas.  Future landscape plan turned into a dirt pile.  Painted the garage door, and updated the light fixture.

It's a start, anyway.

July 2016: Transplanted a Boxwood, some Lavender, Spirea Magic Carpet, and Black Eyed Susan's to the front yard.  Laid down some very convincing (and Eco-Friendly) rubber mulch, and enjoyed a good job well done.  This was it.  I wasn't going to touch the landscape again.  It was a terrible idea to begin with- says my back, and hips, hands, arms... everything.

Then in the middle of July we hopped on a plane and jetted to Portlandia, the coast, and Washington Wine Country.

Five years together already, what?!

Bucket List - Check (Cannon Beach, OR)

When we returned, I scoped out how the rubber mulch was holding up.  At this point my only beef with the rubber mulch was how light it was.  Didn't matter the amount of rain, or the strength of a breeze, it would make its way out of it's home. Tolerable.  I could sweep the walkway a few times a month.

Then I saw it.

A perfect brown squiggle peeking through the rubber mulch.

No.

It can't be.

But it was.

A cat turd.  Layed there by the feline across the street, himself.

I grabbed a bag to scoop up the mocking turd.  To my horror, I realized there was another, then another, and then another.  Seven cat-shits in total.  I looked across the street, ready to hurl the bag of poo at the neighbors siding when I saw that cat staring back at me.  Taunting me.  I knew very well he would be back.  I did what any sane person would do.  I looked up ways to humanely kill ward off cats.  Cayenne Pepper Flakes.  I grabbed every jar we had and dumped those flakes on his doody target.  In my mind, problem-solved.

Walking into the house and feeling like I won the battle and the war, it got me thinking, this cat has lived in our neighborhood for years now.  YEARS.  Why did Catshit finally take a dump on our property?  A. We were on vacation, and Gretzky wasn't home to protect his castle.  B. Another beefy reason to add to the rubber mulch not being awesome list.  Cats dig it.  Literally.  It's called pussy-footing for good reason.  They enjoy the soft touch under their paws, dig a little, and then take a big dump.  But my problem was solved, after all.  Right?

After spending the rest of the day and night watching to make sure that cat didn't creep on over, I woke up feeling rested and ready for the day.  On my way out the door to get the mail, I double checked the doody target.  Notta.  Nothin'.  No cats ass was hanging around my mulch.  All smiles.  After retrieving the mail and walking back, I noticed the infamous squiggle, yet again, except this time it was on the other side of the door.  Another pile o' shit.  I lost it.  Not in a cat-kicking kind of way, but in a grabbing gloves and garbage bags, and man handling the remaining rubber mulch that wasn't violated by digested Fancy Feast and pneumonia, kinda way.

For weeks the landscape sat with no landscape, thanks to Catshit.  It monsooned for like, ever; the dirt splashed up all over the plants and suffocated them. Let's take inventory, shall we? Boxwood ALIVE, Lavender DEAD, Spirea Magic Carpet DEAD- hated it anyway, Black Eyed Susan's Kinda Dead, and a mud puddle, very much ALIVE.

Then something miraculous happened.  Just like that, Catshit and his family were gone.  A moving truck was parked up front, and before they even pulled away, I was back up front assessing the damage and dreaming of plan B.

August 2016: Planted Plan B plants (say that five times fast) - Russian Sage, my half-life Black Eyed Susan's, Blue Festuca Boulder Blue Grass, Broadleaf Sage, and one petite Lilac bush-- kept this from the original set of plants per Shane's request.  Queue good wifey award.

The plants have a lot of growing-up to do.  They are nested in clay-based soil, so only time will tell.

New Light Update:  Our house is tiny.  I'd gather from the posts, you may have noticed this.  Oddly enough, we like a small space, and certainly the challenge of making it work.  The past couple of years we have gone full-speed ahead becoming #basic minimalists.  The piles of unused goods initially leaving our house would make anyone with attachment issues committed.  And a lot of people got some nice, free shit.

Where was I?

Oh, the light.

Because we had a skull breaking pendant light, our dining room table had to be strategically placed under said pendant light, not leaving much room for much of anything else.  My solution was to get a flush mounted light, avoid knocking our heads, and having the added bonus of moving our table wherever the f**k we want. I went through a little shop on Etsy.  I ended up ordering the wrong light and like an idiot, didn't realize it until it was already up.  But instead of acting all miffed about my mix-up, I'm going to own this light instead.

September 2016: On September 16th, 2016, we are getting our driveway fixed.  I feel like I should alert the media.  Our driveway is rotten.  It doesn't even deserve another thought.  After some research, we called up American Waterworks to get a quote for PolyLevel.  Our meeting was a bit of a nail biter.  We assumed the project would be thousands and thousands given the terribleness of our driveway/walkway.  Turns out it wasn't thousands and thousands.  What it IS, in fact, is an extremely affordable end to an unfortunate driveway.  UPDATES to come, but I won't leave you hanging, unlike our driveway...

Studio Space Update: I don't have a lot to say right now about the studio.  Besides the fact that it's been severely neglected, until now.  There are still a lot of touch-ups, and sadly, the plywood floor is not holding up like I had hoped.  But right now, I'm not going to worry about the floor.  Instead I am going to focus on what is being done.  Exhibit A: I give you storage--

Other Summer Highlights:

• Die Antwood in concert (mind-blown)
• Rock the Garden Festival in Boom Park, MSP
• Grandma turned 90 and shot a paintball gun
• Won free tickets to Minnesota's Renaissance Festival by entering in a coloring book contest and WINNING
• Completed a tile piece decorated by patients and their families for the Children's Hospital at St. Mary's Mayo Clinic Campus
• Took some great naps
• Got a tan for once

If you're interested in seeing these snapshots of my everyday life, follow me on Instagram @slothahontas - Cuz I like sloths and Pocahontas, duh.  And I might just end up liking you.  Thanks for reading!