Level Up

Greetings Readers and DIYers,

I promised an update on our driveway when it happened, and it happened.  We couldn't be more pleased with the outcome.  Ch-ch-ch-check it out-

The team they sent over from American Waterworks were pretty cool in my book.  It took them about two hours to level out our driveway and sidewalk.  There was even a section of the driveway that we were quoted on, where they didn't need to do any work.  In return, they offered to professionally caulk the cracks in order to prevent additional water from finding it's way in.  They did a couple of walk-throughs to explain their process (before and after), and wouldn't accept payment until we were completely satisfied. So yeah, they drove away with payment in hand.  The cost for our driveway/sidewalk was $1,200.00 if you're looking for a figure to base your decision off of.

Other Advantages of PolyLevel:

* Lightweight - PolyLevel weighs 4-6 pounds per cubic foot when installed.  Mudjacking fill material is 120-140 pounds per cubic foot when installed.  What does this mean for you?  The less weight and pressure, the happier your supporting soil will be.

* Eco-Friendly - This one is HUGE for our home.  The smaller the carbon footprint, the better.  PolyLevel can be reused, Plus, PolyLevel is manufactured using recycled materials.

* Immediate Turn-Around Time - 15 minutes after application your driveway and sidewalk are full functioning.

* One day installation is all it takes.

* Fewer and smaller holes are needed to get the job done.

* Waterproof - PolyLevel is fully waterproof, therefore it can't washout.  Because it doesn't absorb water, it is not impacted by the freeze / thaw cycle.  For Minnesota's unpredictable seasons, this is a huge bonus.

What are you waiting for?  Call your local PolyLevel supplier and get that hazard you call a driveway fixed.

____________________________

Speaking of unpredictable seasons, every year we feel more prepared for Minnesota's worst season yet - winter, and this year will be no exception.  Have you read the Farmer's Almanac, People?

Winter is widely enjoyed by kids, due to activities such as snowman-making, tubing, snowmobiling, and skiing.

However, it is widely despised by anyone above the age of 16, due to activities such as scraping windshields, back-breaking shoveling, deplorable driving conditions, and high heating bills.

Example:

Little Timmy (age 8) runs up to his brother John (age 17)

Timmy: Hey big brother!  It's winter!  Wanna go build a snowman?!?!

John: Go fuck yourself.

Sorry guys, I really hate that I am already talking about winter, let alone thinking about it.  

Which brings me to....

Moving super heavy pots on your deck and lining up drainage holes with the cracks in said deck tips:

I've got this bush, you see.  And I needed to move it.

The problem is I'm an idiot and didn't think about the weight during the planting process.  Meaning, the cement pot is heavy AF.

The other piece of it is there is a small drainage hole on the bottom of this 80 pound (no joke) planter. The easy part is shuffling the planter.  The hard part is lining up the drainage hole with a crack in the deck to allow for the coming mounds of snow to pass through the pot with ease.  And because I seem to be all about inconvenience, I decided to master this task solo.  

What You Need:

Tape
Long Screw (don't we all?)

Shove the screw through.

Tape it in place.

 

Roll your planter over to the screw, line up the drainage hole with the screw and, wah-lah.

Pull the screw out of the crack.  Step back and watch your plant drain with ease.

And because you are probably just so curious, here is a final photo of our paint it black garage entry door/gooseneck light update.

The 'Our Piece of Split House Updates' outdoor list is dwindling:

* Privacy Wood Fence

* Roof

* Garage Door

* Siding

* Minimal Landscape Update

* Fix Driveway

* Garage Entry Door - Paint/Fix

* Lighting Updates (1 of 3 complete)

* Paint Front Door

* Update Kick Plate

And that concludes this story.  Stop on back... OR keep going.

Zero Blog Manners with a Side of Updates

Where are my blog manners?  My guess is they were lost somewhere during our whirlwind of a summer.  So many fun and exciting things happened, and the year isn't even over with.

The last post was a photo of our garage door.  Lucky you?  Happy to say the paint is holding up well during the rainstorms, and the rust isn't showing through our black door.  Another win.

Here is a quick rundown of our summer projects:

June 2016: Dug out all of the lava rock from our landscape.  Took out Yew bushes 1 & 2, another pointless bush that didn't pull it's weight in landscape appeal, and 6 enormous hostas.  Future landscape plan turned into a dirt pile.  Painted the garage door, and updated the light fixture.

It's a start, anyway.

July 2016: Transplanted a Boxwood, some Lavender, Spirea Magic Carpet, and Black Eyed Susan's to the front yard.  Laid down some very convincing (and Eco-Friendly) rubber mulch, and enjoyed a good job well done.  This was it.  I wasn't going to touch the landscape again.  It was a terrible idea to begin with- says my back, and hips, hands, arms... everything.

Then in the middle of July we hopped on a plane and jetted to Portlandia, the coast, and Washington Wine Country.

Five years together already, what?!

Bucket List - Check (Cannon Beach, OR)

When we returned, I scoped out how the rubber mulch was holding up.  At this point my only beef with the rubber mulch was how light it was.  Didn't matter the amount of rain, or the strength of a breeze, it would make its way out of it's home. Tolerable.  I could sweep the walkway a few times a month.

Then I saw it.

A perfect brown squiggle peeking through the rubber mulch.

No.

It can't be.

But it was.

A cat turd.  Layed there by the feline across the street, himself.

I grabbed a bag to scoop up the mocking turd.  To my horror, I realized there was another, then another, and then another.  Seven cat-shits in total.  I looked across the street, ready to hurl the bag of poo at the neighbors siding when I saw that cat staring back at me.  Taunting me.  I knew very well he would be back.  I did what any sane person would do.  I looked up ways to humanely kill ward off cats.  Cayenne Pepper Flakes.  I grabbed every jar we had and dumped those flakes on his doody target.  In my mind, problem-solved.

Walking into the house and feeling like I won the battle and the war, it got me thinking, this cat has lived in our neighborhood for years now.  YEARS.  Why did Catshit finally take a dump on our property?  A. We were on vacation, and Gretzky wasn't home to protect his castle.  B. Another beefy reason to add to the rubber mulch not being awesome list.  Cats dig it.  Literally.  It's called pussy-footing for good reason.  They enjoy the soft touch under their paws, dig a little, and then take a big dump.  But my problem was solved, after all.  Right?

After spending the rest of the day and night watching to make sure that cat didn't creep on over, I woke up feeling rested and ready for the day.  On my way out the door to get the mail, I double checked the doody target.  Notta.  Nothin'.  No cats ass was hanging around my mulch.  All smiles.  After retrieving the mail and walking back, I noticed the infamous squiggle, yet again, except this time it was on the other side of the door.  Another pile o' shit.  I lost it.  Not in a cat-kicking kind of way, but in a grabbing gloves and garbage bags, and man handling the remaining rubber mulch that wasn't violated by digested Fancy Feast and pneumonia, kinda way.

For weeks the landscape sat with no landscape, thanks to Catshit.  It monsooned for like, ever; the dirt splashed up all over the plants and suffocated them. Let's take inventory, shall we? Boxwood ALIVE, Lavender DEAD, Spirea Magic Carpet DEAD- hated it anyway, Black Eyed Susan's Kinda Dead, and a mud puddle, very much ALIVE.

Then something miraculous happened.  Just like that, Catshit and his family were gone.  A moving truck was parked up front, and before they even pulled away, I was back up front assessing the damage and dreaming of plan B.

August 2016: Planted Plan B plants (say that five times fast) - Russian Sage, my half-life Black Eyed Susan's, Blue Festuca Boulder Blue Grass, Broadleaf Sage, and one petite Lilac bush-- kept this from the original set of plants per Shane's request.  Queue good wifey award.

The plants have a lot of growing-up to do.  They are nested in clay-based soil, so only time will tell.

New Light Update:  Our house is tiny.  I'd gather from the posts, you may have noticed this.  Oddly enough, we like a small space, and certainly the challenge of making it work.  The past couple of years we have gone full-speed ahead becoming #basic minimalists.  The piles of unused goods initially leaving our house would make anyone with attachment issues committed.  And a lot of people got some nice, free shit.

Where was I?

Oh, the light.

Because we had a skull breaking pendant light, our dining room table had to be strategically placed under said pendant light, not leaving much room for much of anything else.  My solution was to get a flush mounted light, avoid knocking our heads, and having the added bonus of moving our table wherever the f**k we want. I went through a little shop on Etsy.  I ended up ordering the wrong light and like an idiot, didn't realize it until it was already up.  But instead of acting all miffed about my mix-up, I'm going to own this light instead.

September 2016: On September 16th, 2016, we are getting our driveway fixed.  I feel like I should alert the media.  Our driveway is rotten.  It doesn't even deserve another thought.  After some research, we called up American Waterworks to get a quote for PolyLevel.  Our meeting was a bit of a nail biter.  We assumed the project would be thousands and thousands given the terribleness of our driveway/walkway.  Turns out it wasn't thousands and thousands.  What it IS, in fact, is an extremely affordable end to an unfortunate driveway.  UPDATES to come, but I won't leave you hanging, unlike our driveway...

Studio Space Update: I don't have a lot to say right now about the studio.  Besides the fact that it's been severely neglected, until now.  There are still a lot of touch-ups, and sadly, the plywood floor is not holding up like I had hoped.  But right now, I'm not going to worry about the floor.  Instead I am going to focus on what is being done.  Exhibit A: I give you storage--

Other Summer Highlights:

• Die Antwood in concert (mind-blown)
• Rock the Garden Festival in Boom Park, MSP
• Grandma turned 90 and shot a paintball gun
• Won free tickets to Minnesota's Renaissance Festival by entering in a coloring book contest and WINNING
• Completed a tile piece decorated by patients and their families for the Children's Hospital at St. Mary's Mayo Clinic Campus
• Took some great naps
• Got a tan for once

If you're interested in seeing these snapshots of my everyday life, follow me on Instagram @slothahontas - Cuz I like sloths and Pocahontas, duh.  And I might just end up liking you.  Thanks for reading!

Can of Worms

Since our new roof install and the bush removal, we've been spending our fair share of time outdoors, working on our curb appeal and my tan.  So, I found it only appropriate to "fix" the entry door to our garage that no one sees, no one uses, and is hidden by garbage cans.  In the words of Shane, "Not necessary."  He's right, but when I get a hair up my ass...

I was going back and forth between colors when it came to our garage entry-door and finally settled on Wrought Iron by Benjamin Moore.  I was worried that there was too much blue in the mix when I saw photos online, but I am happy to report that Wrought Iron is a true looking black, at least in natural daylight.

On Saturday I spent all morning scraping, sanding, and painting the door, in between monsoon showers.  By day-end, the door was looking fabulous.  We even got some compliments from our neighbor, who enjoyed the boldness of our color choice.

This wouldn't be a "DIY-How To" post without instructions on how to paint your outdoor steel door. But with every DIY project comes a can of worms; and you know what happens when you open up a can of worms.

Materials:

• Scraper
• Cheap brush
• Environmentally Friendly Paint Remover
• Tarps and Paper Bags for Disposal
• Primer (Gray-tinted for Dark Colors)
• Paint Color-- opt for finishes with less sheen *Flat, Eggshell, or Satin are ideal for outdoor spaces
• 3"foam Roller and Angled Brush
• Shop Vac
• Shop Towels
• Gloves, Protective Eyewear
• Sander and Sanding Disks
• Muscle

Step 1: Telling the Door What's Up

This door has issues, but not as many as me.  As you can see in the photo, the last layer of paint that was applied started cracking.  I can assume this is because an oil based paint was initially used, and painted over with water-based paint, which causes the chipping.

I used a few different kinds of paint remover.  The one listed above was the easiest to apply, but took the longest to cure before being able to take the paint off (4-24 hours)

        

Due to the number of paint layers (four?), I took off what I could, and used the sander to smooth out any rough spots.

        

As I was literally watching the paint peel, I noticed this light and everything wrong with it. Hidden wires and proper placement are for amateurs anyway.  The replacement of this light will certainly be budging in line.

Step 2: Clean your area

In between steps, it's imperative that you clean your space so debris doesn't collect on your paint job. Use a broom for a general clean-up or Shop Vac to get into those small spaces.  It's also not a bad idea to give your door the once over, cleaning off any flecks of dust for a smooth application.

Step 3: Prime Time

I didn't seem to capture any pictures of the door while it was being primed.  Instead, I'll give you a couple of tips:

1. Go light, and keep layering as needed

2. White Primer = Light Paint

3. Gray Primer = Dark Paint

4. Always keep a wet edge.  Start painting from the top corner and work your way down.  Or, from the bottom up.  Whatever floats your boat.

5. If your door has grooves, paint those first before you paint the flat surfaces.  

Step 4: The Real Deal

Once your area has been cleaned, sanded and primed, it's time to add your color in the mix.  Like I stated above, we are going for black exterior doors and went with Wrought Iron by BM in a matte finish.  To start, I painted the grooves first with an angled brush and let dry.  Then I used a 3" foam roller, started in the top, left corner, and began working my way down, maintaining my wet edge to avoid smears and streaks.  Allow your coat of paint to completely dry before adding additional coats.

 

Step 5: The Details

I did a quick update with our door knob and turned it from shiny gold to black-bronze using some spray paint we had laying around the house.  It's essentially a free update before we invest in a more permanent solution.  When doing a hardware update, make sure you put a coat of primer on first.  I didn't when painting the door knob because A. it's a temporary fix, and the storm clouds were rolling in. I ended up with a door knob that felt like someone sprinkled cornmeal on it before it was painted. Plus, I already noticed a nick. Primer is key.

Step 6: Can of Worms

I mean, why stop at painting the door?  The trim that was used on our garage was made out of some sort of composite wood.  With unpredictable, humid, and wet Minnesota seasons, the trim couldn't hold on any longer.  We decided to replace our soggy wood with PVC trim-- brilliant product if you are experiencing the same issues.

Sunday morning, 8:45 AM on the dot, I was out there, taking the trim down.  This is where things got interesting.  The nails that were being pulled out were about as long as my forearm, and were totally unnecessary.  As the removal of the trim progressed, I realized the door started shifting.  Another nail out, and door leaned more.  Turns out the idiots that put this door in prior to us living here DIDN'T NAIL THE DOOR FRAME into the structure of the garage!  The only thing that was holding the door up, was the trim that was haphazardly nailed into I don't even know.  I mean, what?!  Me and Shane were out there until noon, properly securing the door, while our neighbor looked on laughing at us poor schmucks.  I am happy to inform everyone that it will now be much harder to kick down our garage entry door.  This is not a challenge.

Step 7: Trim, Finally!

We were finally able to secure our door trim, and it went smoothly.  Too smoothly in fact.  I am still waiting for the other shoe to fall.  We know it will happen.  We've still got trim to replace on the garage door, and two new windows to install.  I'll call this a small victory.  We need those every once in awhile in order to stay sane.

There is still much to do when it comes to our garage update.  For now, I will leave you with a "during" photo, and will update our awesome readers with the final look in the next couple of weeks (before siding and updated garage door of course).  

I Hate Yew

Yew plants are known for their graveyard, um, charm.  They are somber, gloomy and deadly.  Those delectable red berries?  Eat one, or three and there's a good chance you'll be chillin' 10 feet under.  Since the 1990's two Yews have been anchoring our front door, welcoming guests, or keeping them away.  I remember seeing a lot of these plants while growing up in the 90's, in an era splashed with powder pinks, baby blues and (gasp!) wallpaper borders.  I vaguely recall eating one on a dare as a wee girl, and having the shits for dayz.

Last summer Yew were getting outta control.  I convinced the hubby that cutting off the top would maybe help them, and they might grow back more luscious than before.  Side note: I was hopeful that cutting the tops off would in fact, kill them.  Summer turned to fall, fall to winter, and by the time spring came, the shrubs weren't producing foliage like "I thought they would."

When Shane is away the saw comes out to play.  I hacked away at the shrubs over my lunch break-- most fulfilling 30 minutes I've had in awhile.  It was done.  Yew were no more.  Two stumps are the only evidence we have left of these ghastly bushes.  Well, and this photo:

A lot of our landscape is the result of poor planning.  I mean, maayyyybe it was planned out, but the combination of plants is a bit odd.  Yew shrubs mixed with hostas, a petite lilac bush and a sumac bush?  I think?  I'm guessing most of the stuff was picked up from the lot of unwanted plants located near the dumpster.  If you haven't guessed by now, the scenery was not our ingenious work.  A lot of this stuff didn't bother me until the past couple of years when we decided to stick it out in our home long-term.  We have super great neighbors, we live on a quiet street, we have enough house for the both of us, + a dog, and some spawn down the road.  Plus, we just put 30 year shingles on our house.  So, duh, why wouldn't we stay?  

Our Piece of Split House isn't looking so splitty anymore.  There is still a shit-ton of things to do inside and out and lots of maintaining in between, but day by day we are getting closer to living in a home that truly and completely represents who we are as a couple and as individuals.

What's left?

The Great Outdoors List:

• siding update
• privacy fence
• outdoor lighting/house numbers
• landscaping (with a decent amount of planning)
• garage door update
• new driveway
• replace windows
• replace back door
• resod front lawn
• door knocker
• front gutters
• front door
• deck
• roof
• back gutters
• the greatest wireless doorbell ever

* I dream in italics

Here is the after shot of the stumps.  I am winning this battle AND this war.  It's a non-option. The next update will hopefully be a bit more drastic, but so far, I'm liking it's progress.  Anyone need some lava rock btw?  Check back soon for more updates and stuff.

  

***UPDATE***

Since posting this update, we have officially removed the stumps.  As proof (because I can hardly believe it myself), here is a photo of the powerful and almighty Shane sawing away at the stub.

For good measure, we sent those stumps sailing a couple hundred yards to the street.  We needed to have the last word.  I still don't know what was worse; taking out the stumps or taking out the roots. The answer is both.

We covered up the holes that are now anchoring our door with some tarp and leftover lava rock until I can get my wishy-washy self to settle on some foliage to plant in its place.  It isn't the prettiest to look at (right now), but it's a hell of a lot better than Yew-nasty bushes.  The offer still stands; lava rock anyone?

DIY Portable Wood Pallet Table

Making a portable ottoman/coffee table for the outdoors is as easy as 1-2-3... and 4.  Literally, four steps.

1. First, get one of these-

2. Add some of these-

I used locking rubber casters.  You never know when that guy is going to come over.  The rubber wheel is a good way to protect your deck.  You can snag these locking casters from any home improvement store.  I picked mine up from Menards for $4.47 a piece, along with some double coated 2" deck screws.

3. Attach the casters.  *Tip, make sure your locking flap extends beyond your pallet so you can easy stomp your foot down to secure the wheel, you know, for when that guy comes around.

 

4. Flip over, stain it-- or don't; add some decor or a cushion on top and enjoy!

Beers anyone?

XO
Jenna

We Picked Teak

The last update we had on the deck was, well, awesome.  I mean, did you see it?

Well, now it is even better.  We got the deck board stained.  Initially we were going to go with Rustoleum 4x Deck Cover, however, after carefully reading reviews, and getting pointers from anyone who wanted to give them, we determined that this product would be awesome if we lived in a warm, dry place, free from snow, rain, freezing cold temperatures, wind, dogs and people in general.  We spent all of this time on this deck, and it would be a bummer if the paint was peeling up after one Minnesota winter.  Not the risk we were willing to take.

We headed off to Menards to check out prices on stain and left with stain in hand.  Yes!  We did have to head over to the competition store (Home Depot) to pick up a lambs wool applicator brush for the deck.  **Menard's does not carry this product, so hopefully that will save you some time looking.

For the color, we picked teak.  Cabot Honey Teak to be exact.  We used an oil base instead of a solid or semi-transparent stain.  We really love the look of natural wood.  Not this painted on wood color stain sh*t that the previous owners left us to manhandle.

So, what better time to stain a deck then 8:00 at night?

Shane got the debris out of every nook and cranny using his trusty air compressor.

The first bit of the oil was added.  Major nail biting type of situation here.  We weren't sure how the color was going to turn out on our wood, and after the first application, it was looking mighty dark.  Eeek.

But we kept on keeping on...

As far as product used, we pretty much finished the whole gallon of stain.  Our deck is roughly 176 sq. feet.

We got done around 11:00 or so, we followed the instructions to a T, and made sure no one was walking on it for 48 horas.  We left the deck that night thinking our color choice was a lot darker than we would have liked...

It was like Christmas morning the next day.  Both me and Shane shot out of bed (not really... more like a slow, cumbersome drag) and checked out the deck.  Let's just say it looked a bit different than when we left it the night before...

...and boy, did it look awesome!