Yew plants are known for their graveyard, um, charm. They are somber, gloomy and deadly. Those delectable red berries? Eat one, or three and there's a good chance you'll be chillin' 10 feet under. Since the 1990's two Yews have been anchoring our front door, welcoming guests, or keeping them away. I remember seeing a lot of these plants while growing up in the 90's, in an era splashed with powder pinks, baby blues and (gasp!) wallpaper borders. I vaguely recall eating one on a dare as a wee girl, and having the shits for dayz.
Last summer Yew were getting outta control. I convinced the hubby that cutting off the top would maybe help them, and they might grow back more luscious than before. Side note: I was hopeful that cutting the tops off would in fact, kill them. Summer turned to fall, fall to winter, and by the time spring came, the shrubs weren't producing foliage like "I thought they would."
When Shane is away the saw comes out to play. I hacked away at the shrubs over my lunch break-- most fulfilling 30 minutes I've had in awhile. It was done. Yew were no more. Two stumps are the only evidence we have left of these ghastly bushes. Well, and this photo:
A lot of our landscape is the result of poor planning. I mean, maayyyybe it was planned out, but the combination of plants is a bit odd. Yew shrubs mixed with hostas, a petite lilac bush and a sumac bush? I think? I'm guessing most of the stuff was picked up from the lot of unwanted plants located near the dumpster. If you haven't guessed by now, the scenery was not our ingenious work. A lot of this stuff didn't bother me until the past couple of years when we decided to stick it out in our home long-term. We have super great neighbors, we live on a quiet street, we have enough house for the both of us, + a dog, and some spawn down the road. Plus, we just put 30 year shingles on our house. So, duh, why wouldn't we stay?
Our Piece of Split House isn't looking so splitty anymore. There is still a shit-ton of things to do inside and out and lots of maintaining in between, but day by day we are getting closer to living in a home that truly and completely represents who we are as a couple and as individuals.
What's left?
The Great Outdoors List:
- siding update
- privacy fence
- outdoor lighting/house numbers
- landscaping (with a decent amount of planning)
- garage door update
- new driveway
- replace windows
- replace back door
- resod front lawn
- door knocker
- front gutters
front doordeckroofback guttersthe greatest wireless doorbell ever
* I dream in italics
Here is the after shot of the stumps. I am winning this battle AND this war. It's a non-option. The next update will hopefully be a bit more drastic, but so far, I'm liking it's progress. Anyone need some lava rock btw? Check back soon for more updates and stuff.
***UPDATE***
Since posting this update, we have officially removed the stumps. As proof (because I can hardly believe it myself), here is a photo of the powerful and almighty Shane sawing away at the stub.
For good measure, we sent those stumps sailing a couple hundred yards to the street. We needed to have the last word. I still don't know what was worse; taking out the stumps or taking out the roots. The answer is both.
We covered up the holes that are now anchoring our door with some tarp and leftover lava rock until I can get my wishy-washy self to settle on some foliage to plant in its place. It isn't the prettiest to look at (right now), but it's a hell of a lot better than Yew-nasty bushes. The offer still stands; lava rock anyone?
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